|
|
|
 |
 |
|
|
HOME
|
 |
|
|
CONTRIVANCE
What follows may seem to be contrived, probably because it is* (there is actually a footnote hereunder believe it, or not). About 3 km directly south of Graaff-Reinet, the majestic Spandaukop towers over an almost forgotten architectural relic of early Graaff-Reinet, the homestead of the farm De Erf which lies along the Sundays River. The building, with its whitewashed walls and towering gables, was built circa 1806. It has the distinctive Cape Dutch H-shape design which it shares, in Graaff-Reinet, only with Reinet House. Almost all of the outbuildings used over the years such as the forge, coach house and blacksmith's shop are still intact and have been renovated and converted into a guest house of note where food is taken seriously.** There is also running water, toilets (inside) and other stuff guests seem to want such as air conditioning and satellite TV. Much against my will, I continue hereunder.
|
 |
|
|
GRAAFF-REINET, DE ERF AND ANTIQUITY
Here comes the dreaded moment. Graaff-Reinet, the fourth oldest town in South Africa, was established in 1786. Fourteen years before one Hendrik Adriaan Meintjes, the first owner of the farm De Erf, was born on a farm in the Sneeuberg area, on 19 May 1772 (good for him and I hope you feel as enriched as I do). A surveyor's map of 1804 indicates the first dwelling on the farm. (I will get back to this blinking map, that is, when I manage to scan the finking thing***). The Graaff-Reinet Herald of 20 September 1856 noted that De Erf's "close proximity to the Town offers the desirable advantage to gentlemen in business of obtaining a Country Residence within a convenient distance from town." Now this little bit of trivia may be of real interest to you as the "Town" is in fact Graaff-Reinet, home to more national monuments than any other town or city in South Africa. Go check 'em out, I haven't had the time; being forcefully glued to my computer.
|
|
THE STUPENDOUS KEYWORD SAGA
In an attempt to blatantly advertise this site and try crawl our way up the Google page rank monopoly I will, in due course, point out a number of things (which are actually ill-disguised keywords). For example, you may come across moving phrases such as "imagine being an owner of a guest house". Bit lame, I concede but then again it is probably better than "being the owner of a guesthouse is very rewarding" if only for the reason that it is not and that the first phrase was meant to actually read "if you imagine being an owner, or married to the owner, of a guest house is fun, you need to drink more." I was told that I should not say things such as "De Erf Manor House and Graaff-Reinet offer things a tourist will not find elsewhere that readily. You may for instance succumb to heat stroke or be eaten by angry young flies". Apparantly, although there appears the odd crafty keyword, it is not funny or, for that matter, constructive. All I can say is the closest I have ever come to being constructive was to get a builder to do that bit on my behalf.
|
|
HONEYMOONS
I may be charlatan and a scoundrel of note but I have my principles. Well, at least two of which I can think of which two had forgotten one when I started typing again. Anyway, to cut a short story long: I refused to dedicate an extra website page for honeymoons. The difficulty I had was a simple loss of words (permissible words, that is). And what does one say after you have briefly explained the fact that you will be provided flowers, fruit, candles, chocolates and some sparkling Cap Classique? You see this is where trouble starts as, that having been said, what next? Do I venture anywhere near the tomfoolery that ensue? All I can say then, with safety, is that there are also some fairy lights in your suite.
|
|
*FOOTNOTE (I told you so): There is always a catch-22. I can report this with some certainty. Take this ridiculous website as a prime example of the hand that fate deals when it gets half a chance. I was quietly minding my own business (the legality of which is none of your concern) when I was literally impaled on the horns of a dilemma. I was confronted the other day by a rabid woman with an oily spatula (which woman - Ilse - is incidentally my wife and owner of this charitable organisation - known as a bed and breakfast and trading as De Erf Manor House). The shortage of website designers in this neck of the woods caused her to approach me, whilst I was sipping away quietly on some innocent refreshment, as follows: "You (i.e. me) are either in or out". This particular statement was mind boggling and rather startling at first but then, on reflection, it appeared to be open to many interpretations some of which I was not particularly interested in; partially because it could make inroads into my financial well-being. After all, as they say, it may be a man's world but it is a woman's divorce court. What to do, what to do? I got hold of a case of wine, downloaded a cheap website design program and reluctantly started staring at a blank computer screen complaining that the machine was broken which was not my fault. This was until Ilse realised it was not connected. Getting connected made short shrift of the last of my excuses and avoiding the sheriff did not help either, hence this website.
** De Erf serves the sort of breakfast that you don't even know about. Not even do I having been thrown to the wolves. The cuisine page tells more. Over and above that, there is a lot of liquor and snacks at the pool area. We do not serve supper although Ilse (I almost said "we") will make sure it is organised should you want. There are some really good places in town and we will book for you, on request. This booking thing may appear to be strange given where we live (in the sticks) but be aware the odd tourist may have outbooked you by the time you need food.
*** I never did (the scan thing) but watch this space; I am giving the scanner mouth to mouth resuscitation. It could print also, some time ago. Never trust an all-in-one gadget. It is bound to do all at once when you least expect it. I am also looking for the map. And, no, I don't have an unnatural relationship with the scanner - it can't even drink, let alone sing.
|